I am obsessed with all things chilli. It was something I was aware of, but I didn’t understand the scale of my ‘problem’. Yesterday I was cleaning out the condiments cupboard and realised just how many weird and wonderful sauces I had accumulated, the fridge too, had more jars of pickled chillies than is necessary for any household.
I love the ‘rush’ that occurs when you bite into a pickled Jalapeno and the heat gradually spreads across the tongue and gets the endorphins flowing. It is this cheap thrill that has turned me into the chilli ‘junkie’ that I am today, but as Jonny Cash knew all to well, the aftershock of a chilli binge can have devastating affects on certain parts of the human anatomy.
Chillies are native to Central and South America and have been used since the first ballsy Mexican decided to bite into one about 7000 years ago. They spread to the rest of the world after that clever chap Christopher Columbus realised their potential as a unique flavouring and brought them home with him in 1492.
As the chilli spread, various countries adopted their favourites: Serannos and Jalapenos in Mexico, Scotch bonnets in the Caribbean and Cayenne varieties in India and the Far East. It seems everyone is partial to a little heat in their food.
The heat that can be so addictive comes from the chemical ‘Capsaicin’ which is most prolific in the seeds and membranes of the fruit. To gauge the varying degrees of heat in chillies, the Scoville scale was developed by Wilbur L Scoville in 1912. The Scoville scale works by diluting a solution of pepper extract in sugar water until the ‘heat’ is no longer detectable.
It was inevitable that the male psyche would turn chilli heat into a form of macho competition, while your average beer-guzzling-curry nut would take on a Vindaloo or Fahl, an Indian would never dream of it. The quest for a Scoville scale topping heat has reached new levels; extract sauces are now all the rage in ring-blistering condiments.
To give you an example, Tabasco measures 2,500-5,000 on the Scoville scale. The hottest extract sauce “Blair’s 16million reserve” measures a whopping 16,000,000 (clue in the title?) and is sold for around £105 a bottle, oh and it also comes with a disclaimer…
Some of the names that have sprung up such as Dave’s insanity sauce, Satan’s blood, Vicious Viper, Da’ Bomb and Crazy Jerry’s Mustard Gas are but a few of the long list of extract sauces that would have you wish you had an asbestos bum hole. Frankly, after reading about Tom Parker-Bowles’ experience at a chilli fest in ‘The year of eating dangerously’, I will probably stick to my favourites.
I have had a love affair with Tabasco (and written about its origins here) for as long as I can remember, I think at University I must have been on about a bottle a week- methadone to the chilli abuser. I still love it but the heat no longer chokes my chicken: there has been a new kid on the block for the last year or so, I now get my fix from Encona hot pepper sauce which utilises the fiery heat of the Scotch bonnet. Even the slightest sniff of the stuff makes my mouth water uncontrollably, although the girlfriend always reminds me when its Taco night of the pain I might feel the following day if I over indulge, like most simple males, I never seem to listen.
I tend to pick up unusual specimens wherever I go, in this country we have been blessed with Nando’s sauces (about the only good thing of the entire franchise). Despite trying, I haven’t found Tabasco Chipotle sauce anywhere in the UK and had to bring some home from my trip to New York. My latest addition to the condiment collection came from the Cayman Islands: “Big Black Dick hot grillin’ sauce”, which is quite exceptional, I am just waiting for the first BBQ evening to give it a true road test.
The most common of all chilli sauces is probably Thai sweet chilli, something many of us can handle without a mouthful of yogurt or a glug of milk. It is also the easiest of all chilli sauces to make, so without further ado:
Thai sweet chilli Sauce.
- 1Kg Red Chillies
- 3tsp salt
- 4tbsp sugar
- 180ml Rice Wine Vinegar
Roughly chop the chillies and put in a saucepan with 100ml of water, cover and bring to the boil.
Once the chillies are tender add the remaining ingredients. Once the sugar and salt have dissolved, remove from heat and allow to cool.
Put the mixture into a blender and blend till smooth. Will keep for up to a month in the fridge. A very versatile sauce, use it as a base for stir-fries or simply for dipping!
As I prepare myself for six months in the woods and the prospect of not getting my Capsaicin fix (unless the chillies I grow work out), I am not looking forward to going cold turkey in the woods. Perhaps I could smuggle down a couple of bottles of Tabasco? After all it is only my conscience I have to deal with….







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